June 18, 2013

So I started this blog a few months ago with very selfish intentions. I started this blog as a way of making myself happy because I wasn't. I wasn't happy in my relationship, I wasn't happy with my life at the time, and I just was an all around miserable person, but I didn't show it. It was never my intention to tell you about my life, or let you all into my world and my thoughts, but I am glad that I did because it helped me cope with everything that was going on.

When I left for New York back in January, my relationships were falling apart. I wasn't as close with my aunt as I used to be and I hated that, I was very withdrawn when it came to my family, I didn't let them into my life as much as I should have. When I left for NY I wasn't myself, I wasn't the happy go lucky person that people loved, I was the "I'm happy sometimes person". My relationship with my mother was suffering because I was always unhappy or I was always snapping at her. I was not the greatest person to be around. I learned quickly that when you are unhappy and miserable, you make everyone else unhappy and miserable.

When I started this blog I was in New York with my aunt and uncle trying to find myself. I mean when I started this blog I did not have the self confidence I do now. I never wore makeup before I went to NYC and now I don't leave the house without mascara on or a dab of lip gloss. I didn't have the confidence to wear what I do now clothing wise I mean I bought a dang crop top. I know that I would have never had the balls to tell my best guy friend how I feel about him.

I feel like I am a completely different person, no I feel like I am me, the me I was born to be. I know right now I don't have my life completely together, but I know someday I will have my life together. Right now I can say I have never been this happy with my life I am actually happy. I'm rebuilding those relationships that were damaged. I'm hanging onto the people who matter in my life and I want to stay in my life forever. I'm actually letting myself get close to guys for once in my life. I feel like an arrogant asshole but I'm just confident for the first time in forever. I have the greatest friends a girl can ask for. I really truly do. 

They say the only way to get over a broken heart is to fall in love again, well I have fallen in love again, with myself. I love everything about me, I know it sounds arrogant but I can't find one flaw about myself. So I am going to marry myself, because lord knows that no man would be able to handle me.

Until next time dearies,

XOXO,

Regina <3