June 7,2013 (Fixed)

I've had this thought that has been bothering me for a while, and it revolves around this question "Describe yourself using 'X' amount of words" now sure back in elementary school and possibly even when you are in high school you are able to use 1 maybe 2 words like “nice, sweet, kind, smart” because that is who you are at that time. As we grow older and more into ourselves we realize that the 1 or 2 generic words won't cut it anymore. Being able to describe yourself to someone who doesn't know you seems like an almost impossible task, because most of the time we are lying our asses off because we really want the job or we really want to impress that person. If someone were to follow us around for the day they would know everything about us by the time the day is over, they would know how we talk, think, eat, drink, sleep, everything. So by the end of the day you would not be able to describe yourself in 1 or 2 words and neither would the other person because they would know the "true you".

I believe that we are not truly in love with a person until we know their “Authentic selves”. When you know a person’s authentic self then you can say that you are in love with them because you know everything about them, the way they talk, breathe, sleep, eat, think, how they look when they are doing a puzzle, the way they laugh. When we are reading a book. When we are cleaning the house. When we are being silly. When we are watching our favorite shows and we let the emotions pour out. When we have no make-up on. When we are just waking up from either a nap or a good night’s sleep. When we start crying because of a certain song on the radio. When we are who we are when no one is looking. When we are cooking dinner. When pure happiness and joy is on our face because we were just told a really stupid and dirty joke.

For one day I would like to follow myself, just have an out of body experience and see what my life is like from a different point of view then I would be able to describe myself because I would see my true self, the self I am when I am reading a book, the self I am when I am writing, the self I am when I am driving (although I don't know about that one), the self I am when I am just waking up, the self I am when I am alone. Most of all I want to see myself sleep because that is when we are completely vulnerable. I want to know what I look like while sleeping, do I have a smile on my face? Do I twitch? Do I toss and turn? Do I talk in my sleep? If I do what do I say? 

If we could see ourselves as our authentic selves I don't think we would be able to call ourselves anything but good things. I also don't think that we would be able to use a "generic" word like "nice, sweet, kind etc" to describe ourselves I think we would use words like "Strong-willed, warrior, generous, strong… etc." because I believe that once we see ourselves we will understand why people love us, and we will appreciate ourselves more.

Changing gears here guys. Time for my second thought.

I believe wholeheartedly in the concept of true love and soul-mates. As much as people tell me differently I believe in the concept of there only being one person for you. I believe that there is only one person out there who can really understand you, really love you. Love everything about you. From the way you laugh, to the way songs make you cry and still love you through it all because they know who you are. They know the true you, the one nobody else knows.

I also believe that the best relationships start out as friendships because by the time you are ready to start a relationship you already have that friendship developed so you can be best friends and lovers at the same time. You can be completely stupid and silly with the person and then kiss them. There is never an awkward moment because you are either bullshitting or you are kissing each other. I believe that is the most amazing kind of love there is. To me that is the best kind of relationship.

I believe in the concept of having more than one chance to find your true love or soul-mate. I believe that you are given as many chances as it takes to find your soul-mate and once you do and you spend your life with them then you don't come back again because you finally fulfilled your purpose in this life. You found your soul-mate there is no reason for you to come back.

This post gave me such a headache last night because I couldn't think of how to start this. Mainly because its stuff I have had a conversation with people about and I couldn't figure out a way to write it out.

I finally got over my writers block at like 2 am and sat down and wrote this all.

Til next time dearies, 

XOXO,

Regina