May 21, 2013

WOW, I really haven't posted anything in wayyyy too long. So maybe I should update you, the last time I posted was April 6, 2013.. And let me tell you, a lot has changed. For one I am not with Joel anymore... that was the biggest change. Alright I'll start it.

April was a pretty tough month for me, not only was it my first month home but I had that lump, had to deal with boy drama... 
But first the lump, went through a month of testing including like five ultrasounds, a biopsy, a month of waiting and torture, and a couple of different doctors and I FINALLY got the news last week... IT WAS A BENIGN TUMOR called fiberedanoma but its in my surgeons gray area for removal because its 2.4cm and her removal limit is between 2.5-2.7cm but after 2.7cm she wants it out... but for the moment we are just keeping our eye on it. 
For those of you who have never had a biopsy done... they numb you with a needle.. and then all you feel is pressure.. but its AWESOME cause the biopsy needle looks like a harpoon gun! :D 
Two days after my biopsy I had my friend Khloe's baby shower for little Aidan <3 had to have my brother bring in her baby shower gift because I didn't want to tear my incision. I had only my gauze on my incision and it looked weird, the baby shower was so nice <3 I can't wait to meet little Aidan <3 

The proud momma to be and me <3

the cake <3 they spelled his name wrong :-P

<3

That sunday I took off my gauze and my boob looked square.. so i started crying.. and my mom was like "Regina it's normal... it will go back to being round in a day..."  So my family now calls me "Squareboob"... yeah... even made up a song for it... My family is so wonderful >.>

(Sorry for the Jumpiness, I mentioned that I found out my results and I pretty much told you all about last weekend... My bad)

April was a pretty tough month there's no doubt in my mind that it was one of the worst months, not only did Joel and I break up but I had to deal with two deaths. But I'll start with happy stuff :) My 22nd birthday, for my birthday my momma bought me an hour massage oh my god it was so relaxing :) and then we came home  and got ready for my birthday dinner with my two best friends Lucy and Jessica. We went to the Chocolate Bar in Cleveland where they play "Willy Wonka and the Chocolate factory" on repeat all the time and everything has chocolate in it. My first drink was a cherry vodka shooter that came in a little chocolate shot glass (Yes it was edible). Then I had a Chocolate covered pretzel martini and then for dessert I had SMORES! Yes actual smores with fire and everything :) 

Chocolate covered pretzel martini <3

my best friends <3

MY SMORES! :D

Then a couple of days later Joel's uncle died, who I got really close with, I was there for him and his family. His aunt Paula actually hugged me! Calling hours were brutal... but the funeral was even worse. I never saw his cousin Eric cry (didn't think he was capable of that emotion) and then we got to the cemetery turned out it was the same cemetery that my great grandparents were buried (in a wall)  so we went into the mausoleum and I found them, and while I was looking up Joel joined me along with his uncle lucky and said "Them yours?" and I laughed for the first time in two days.

That Saturday was Jessica's birthday <3 for her birthday we had to dress up because we went to a "High Tea" it was awesome! They cut their sandwiches into different shapes, and we went with Mrs. T, Jessica's sister Kaitlin and Lucy <3 we had such a good time. :) 

The day after was Sunday and I found out that an old friend had died (right just my luck when it came to funerals last month :-P) I wasn't as devastated as a couple of people I knew...

Alright TUESDAY April 24... Started out like any other, but I couldn't get him (not Joel) out of my head so I texted him asking him to meet me at chipotle cause I had something for him.... well we ended up not going to chipotle and we went to Panera instead... The thing I had was a love note, because I couldn't get him out of my head and no matter what I did I couldn't stay away and the note basically said that... Anyways, we decide to go sit in my car and talk for a little while, and when I gave him the note he looked me in the eyes and said "if this is what I think it is , I love you too" TOTALLY NOT THE REACTION I THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO GET!.. anyways about an hour later he has to go because his girlfriend was at his house... yeah thats a problem...

Next day, I found out where and when the funeral and calling hours were at for our friend called him and told him and he asked if I would go with him... so naturally i said yes... the next day was the calling hours and he looked so handsome in his dads leather jacket... just saying I have a thing for boys in leather jackets... and we went to the funeral and I saw a couple of people who I haven't seen since high school... and he went up to the casket and me (being terrified of dead bodies because I've seen way too many horror movies) I just stood on the sidelines waiting to give him a hug and shoulder to cry on.. then we left and decided to go to swensons for dinner...

The next morning was the funeral but we didn't go because he had to be at work later that morning so out of the blue my dad wakes me up and says "Were you expecting someone?" and I was like "No dad its 830am... I'm not expecting anyone until 1015?" and when i walked downstairs in my PJs mind you.. there he is standing there he said "I can't go to the funeral because I have to be at work... Wanna do something?" So we ended up going on a walk with Krypto.

Next day he called me at 7am (darn lucky I was already up.) and asked if Vito (my little brother) and I wanted to volunteer with him, I said yeah just let me go home and change and we will be there in about an hour. Anyways volunteering was fun we served hot dogs and different snacks raising money for 4H, I just remember one of his closest friends looking at me and saying "That boy is stupid" and I was like "Well we know this but why now?" and he said "Because obviously he likes you and you like him... but hes not dating you..." and all I could say was "I know..."
Later that day we went out to his family's farm and he bought a 1974 Porsche 911.. really hot car, real fixer-upper. Then we went to his cousins house to go swimming.. and then that night my parents were gone for the weekend and Vito had his buddy Jaxon over so I said "Why don't you come over and stay the night.?" mind you other then when Joel lived with us... I never asked a guy to spend the night... NO WORLD NOTHING HAPPENED. We just cuddled and traded Pj's, and fell asleep in each others arms.. 

The next morning I was pretty much up at the crack of dawn and decided I was gonna be nice and go get the boys some donuts, well lone and behold I woke him up so we both decided to go and get donuts. :) Came back had breakfast and then they all decided they wanted to wrap me up in duct tape... ugh it was hell trying to get out of it....

Couple of days later I decided to get my hair cut and colored :) and my hair stylist wouldn't let me see it until she was all done :-P but I fell in absolute love with it :) I love my hair stylist... I truly do.. I didn't think after my original hairstylist retired that I would find someone that I liked as much as I did her.. But I adore Gracie (my current stylist) and she knows what I want and what will look good :) and I love her for that <3

Well after that whole thing I'll tell you about yesterday :) Yesterday I went to lunch with my best friend Jessica :) and then we went on a hike with Lucy in the gorge and while there we decided to sit on a dock and stick our feet in the water... Nothing on earth beats a nice lunch, hike and then sitting on the dock with your feet in the water with your best friends not even having to say a word but just knowing that everything is going to be perfect and will work out one way or another. So I end this extremely long blog post basically telling you all about my life the past month with this. 

It was in this moment sitting with my best friends on a dock in the middle of the Cuyahoga river not saying a word, that I felt infinite, and I realized a couple of things. 1. You choose you attitude, people can influence it but ultimately you choose to be happy or be miserable.. I choose to be happy :) 2. That I truely have the best friends in the world and I would do anything for them. 3. Life is too short to be anything but happy <3 4. Everything will work out in the end.. If it hasn't worked out yet... then it isn't the end. <3 and 5. I need a pedicure ;)

Until next time, XOXO

Regina.