I've had
this thought that has been bothering me for a while, and it revolves around
this question "Describe yourself using 'X' amount of words" now sure
back in elementary school and possibly even when you are in high school you are
able to use 1 maybe 2 words like “nice, sweet, kind, smart” because that is who
you are at that time. As we grow older and more into ourselves we realize that
the 1 or 2 generic words won't cut it anymore. Being able to describe yourself
to someone who doesn't know you seems like an almost impossible task, because
most of the time we are lying our asses off because we really want the job or
we really want to impress that person. If someone were to follow us around for
the day they would know everything about us by the time the day is over, they
would know how we talk, think, eat, drink, sleep, everything. So by the end of
the day you would not be able to describe yourself in 1 or 2 words and neither
would the other person because they would know the "true you".
I believe that we are not truly
in love with a person until we know their “Authentic selves”. When you know a person’s
authentic self then you can say that you are in love with them because you know
everything about them, the way they talk, breathe, sleep, eat, think, how they
look when they are doing a puzzle, the way they laugh. When we are reading a
book. When we are cleaning the house. When we are being silly. When we are
watching our favorite shows and we let the emotions pour out. When we have no make-up
on. When we are just waking up from either a nap or a good night’s sleep. When
we start crying because of a certain song on the radio. When we are who we are
when no one is looking. When we are cooking dinner. When pure happiness and joy
is on our face because we were just told a really stupid and dirty joke.
For one day I would like to
follow myself, just have an out of body experience and see what my life is like
from a different point of view then I would be able to describe myself because
I would see my true self, the self I am when I am reading a book, the self I am
when I am writing, the self I am when I am driving (although I don't know about
that one), the self I am when I am just waking up, the self I am when I am
alone. Most of all I want to see myself sleep because that is when we are completely
vulnerable. I want to know what I look like while sleeping, do I have a smile
on my face? Do I twitch? Do I toss and turn? Do I talk in my sleep? If I do
what do I say?
If we could see ourselves as our authentic selves I don't think we would be
able to call ourselves anything but good things. I also don't think that we
would be able to use a "generic" word like "nice, sweet, kind
etc" to describe ourselves I think we would use words like "Strong-willed,
warrior, generous, strong… etc." because I believe that once we see
ourselves we will understand why people love us, and we will appreciate
ourselves more.
Changing gears here guys. Time for my second thought.
I believe
wholeheartedly in the concept of true love and soul-mates. As much as people
tell me differently I believe in the concept of there only being one person for
you. I believe that there is only one person out there who can really
understand you, really love you. Love everything about you. From the way you
laugh, to the way songs make you cry and still love you through it all because
they know who you are. They know the true you, the one nobody else knows.
I also
believe that the best relationships start out as friendships because by the
time you are ready to start a relationship you already have that friendship
developed so you can be best friends and lovers at the same time. You can be
completely stupid and silly with the person and then kiss them. There is never
an awkward moment because you are either bullshitting or you are kissing each
other. I believe that is the most amazing kind of love there is. To me
that is the best kind of relationship.
I believe
in the concept of having more than one chance to find your true love or soul-mate.
I believe that you are given as many chances as it takes to find your soul-mate
and once you do and you spend your life with them then you don't come back
again because you finally fulfilled your purpose in this life. You found your
soul-mate there is no reason for you to come back.
This post gave me such a headache last night because I couldn't
think of how to start this. Mainly because its stuff I have had a conversation
with people about and I couldn't figure out a way to write it out.
I finally got over my writers block at like 2 am and sat down and wrote
this all.
Til next time dearies,
XOXO,
Regina
