June 18, 2013

So I started this blog a few months ago with very selfish intentions. I started this blog as a way of making myself happy because I wasn't. I wasn't happy in my relationship, I wasn't happy with my life at the time, and I just was an all around miserable person, but I didn't show it. It was never my intention to tell you about my life, or let you all into my world and my thoughts, but I am glad that I did because it helped me cope with everything that was going on.

When I left for New York back in January, my relationships were falling apart. I wasn't as close with my aunt as I used to be and I hated that, I was very withdrawn when it came to my family, I didn't let them into my life as much as I should have. When I left for NY I wasn't myself, I wasn't the happy go lucky person that people loved, I was the "I'm happy sometimes person". My relationship with my mother was suffering because I was always unhappy or I was always snapping at her. I was not the greatest person to be around. I learned quickly that when you are unhappy and miserable, you make everyone else unhappy and miserable.

When I started this blog I was in New York with my aunt and uncle trying to find myself. I mean when I started this blog I did not have the self confidence I do now. I never wore makeup before I went to NYC and now I don't leave the house without mascara on or a dab of lip gloss. I didn't have the confidence to wear what I do now clothing wise I mean I bought a dang crop top. I know that I would have never had the balls to tell my best guy friend how I feel about him.

I feel like I am a completely different person, no I feel like I am me, the me I was born to be. I know right now I don't have my life completely together, but I know someday I will have my life together. Right now I can say I have never been this happy with my life I am actually happy. I'm rebuilding those relationships that were damaged. I'm hanging onto the people who matter in my life and I want to stay in my life forever. I'm actually letting myself get close to guys for once in my life. I feel like an arrogant asshole but I'm just confident for the first time in forever. I have the greatest friends a girl can ask for. I really truly do. 

They say the only way to get over a broken heart is to fall in love again, well I have fallen in love again, with myself. I love everything about me, I know it sounds arrogant but I can't find one flaw about myself. So I am going to marry myself, because lord knows that no man would be able to handle me.

Until next time dearies,

XOXO,

Regina <3

June 7,2013 (Fixed)

I've had this thought that has been bothering me for a while, and it revolves around this question "Describe yourself using 'X' amount of words" now sure back in elementary school and possibly even when you are in high school you are able to use 1 maybe 2 words like “nice, sweet, kind, smart” because that is who you are at that time. As we grow older and more into ourselves we realize that the 1 or 2 generic words won't cut it anymore. Being able to describe yourself to someone who doesn't know you seems like an almost impossible task, because most of the time we are lying our asses off because we really want the job or we really want to impress that person. If someone were to follow us around for the day they would know everything about us by the time the day is over, they would know how we talk, think, eat, drink, sleep, everything. So by the end of the day you would not be able to describe yourself in 1 or 2 words and neither would the other person because they would know the "true you".

I believe that we are not truly in love with a person until we know their “Authentic selves”. When you know a person’s authentic self then you can say that you are in love with them because you know everything about them, the way they talk, breathe, sleep, eat, think, how they look when they are doing a puzzle, the way they laugh. When we are reading a book. When we are cleaning the house. When we are being silly. When we are watching our favorite shows and we let the emotions pour out. When we have no make-up on. When we are just waking up from either a nap or a good night’s sleep. When we start crying because of a certain song on the radio. When we are who we are when no one is looking. When we are cooking dinner. When pure happiness and joy is on our face because we were just told a really stupid and dirty joke.

For one day I would like to follow myself, just have an out of body experience and see what my life is like from a different point of view then I would be able to describe myself because I would see my true self, the self I am when I am reading a book, the self I am when I am writing, the self I am when I am driving (although I don't know about that one), the self I am when I am just waking up, the self I am when I am alone. Most of all I want to see myself sleep because that is when we are completely vulnerable. I want to know what I look like while sleeping, do I have a smile on my face? Do I twitch? Do I toss and turn? Do I talk in my sleep? If I do what do I say? 

If we could see ourselves as our authentic selves I don't think we would be able to call ourselves anything but good things. I also don't think that we would be able to use a "generic" word like "nice, sweet, kind etc" to describe ourselves I think we would use words like "Strong-willed, warrior, generous, strong… etc." because I believe that once we see ourselves we will understand why people love us, and we will appreciate ourselves more.

Changing gears here guys. Time for my second thought.

I believe wholeheartedly in the concept of true love and soul-mates. As much as people tell me differently I believe in the concept of there only being one person for you. I believe that there is only one person out there who can really understand you, really love you. Love everything about you. From the way you laugh, to the way songs make you cry and still love you through it all because they know who you are. They know the true you, the one nobody else knows.

I also believe that the best relationships start out as friendships because by the time you are ready to start a relationship you already have that friendship developed so you can be best friends and lovers at the same time. You can be completely stupid and silly with the person and then kiss them. There is never an awkward moment because you are either bullshitting or you are kissing each other. I believe that is the most amazing kind of love there is. To me that is the best kind of relationship.

I believe in the concept of having more than one chance to find your true love or soul-mate. I believe that you are given as many chances as it takes to find your soul-mate and once you do and you spend your life with them then you don't come back again because you finally fulfilled your purpose in this life. You found your soul-mate there is no reason for you to come back.

This post gave me such a headache last night because I couldn't think of how to start this. Mainly because its stuff I have had a conversation with people about and I couldn't figure out a way to write it out.

I finally got over my writers block at like 2 am and sat down and wrote this all.

Til next time dearies, 

XOXO,

Regina 

I know what you are thinking "2 posts in 1 day?!" yeah I know it doesn't happen. Anyways I'm gonna make a list of my favorite things. :) I'll start with actual things first. And since you all know that I am a big reader I'll start with books :)

Books:

Harry Potter series (totally not surprising)

Hunger Games

Divergent

Nicholas Sparks books, mostly "The Best of Me"

The Fault in Our Stars

Walk two moons

Thirteen reasons why 

The Princess Diaries series

The Princess Bride

Sisterhood of the Traveling pants

Movies: 

The princess Bride

Tangled

Aladdin

Saw series

Pitch Perfect

The Avengers

The Dark knight Rises

Despicable me

Pirates of the Caribbean

Television:

Fairly Odd Parents

Once Upon a Time

Gravity Falls

Phineas and Ferb

How I met your mother

The Following

Family Guy

Doctor Who

American Horror Story

I'll update later on I've got to go for now :) 

XOXO, 

Regina

June 2, 2013

I am getting better at this blogging thing! So I think today I am going to describe myself and give you guys a bit more insight as to who I am :) I don't like using complete sentences when I describe myself so I'll make a list. I am also going to make a list of my favorite quotes ever.

-I am not short I am funsized

-I am a country girl at heart 

-I love to wear a cowgirl hat and boots

-I was recently told I was pretty interesting.. No idea what that means

-I can be either the biggest girly girl ever or I can be the biggest tomboy ever

-I love to go fishing

-Love to get dirty

-I feel like I am meant to live in the south 

-I like worms, like ALOT 

-I love to be outside either relaxing in my chair or laying down in the grass

-I love to laugh at everything, including myself.

-I have my moments when I am hyper, but I also have my chill moments.. Those chill moments are very rare.. take advantage of them

-I love to read

-June and December are my favorite months

-Cyan and Fushia are my favorite colors

-It has been determined that I am a 5 year old trapped in a 22 year olds body.

-I love the beach, everything about it. The salty sea air, the sand between my toes, the boogey boarding. I live for going to the beach.

-I never wear makeup, unless it is a special occasion or I am going out
-my summer attire is usually shorts flip flops and a tank top... Rarely does that change.
-If I could live in flip flops all year long I would be a very happy girl.
-I like watching movies, but not your romantic comedies I like the movies that are more geared towards guys. 
-I love superheroes and princesses

-I see the good in everyone and I believe that everyone deserves a second chance

-I am strong, probably one of the strongest women you will ever meet or ever even get the chance to meet.

-When I love, I love wholeheartedly, with everything I am.
-I hate the stigma of guys paying for the date.. I'm sorry I like being able to pay for myself.
-I have standards and if you fit those standards consider yourself lucky
-Country boys make me swoon. And I don't mean those fake country boys I mean the ones who work on the farms, and pretend to talk with an accent. 

And now my favoite quotes:

May 28, 2013

Happy Belated Memorial Day! What a WEEKEND! My cousins from Vegas and southern Ohio were in town so I spent all day saturday and some of sunday with them :) then monday we were at my Grandparents house for the day :) The only thing that would've made it better is if it was not FREEZING COLD! Ugh I hate ohio sometimes...
Saturday: I stopped at the cemetary to see my uncle and my Great Grandparents. (Just put that in there so you aren't confused later on when I bring it up.) I went to pick up my grandma so we could go to the lake house with the family... Barely out of my car and this is how the conversation goes:
Grandma: What did you do to your hair Regina?
Me: Oh I...
Grandma: I hate it...
Me: Thanks Grandma...
So we decide to take her car... Which I barely fit in.... And we drive out to the lake house... We get there and EVERYONE is there... and we were late.. of course... So we are there and there are a MILLION little kids... half family the other half friends... it was crazy.. they were all between the ages of like 10months and 13 years old... it was ridiculous. We played with bubbles and the adults played cornhole I kicked Butt and everyone wanted to be on my team after I got four cornholes in a row! We went out on the boat, I went twice... but anyways so I went with Ryan the first time and we went around circles, incessantly... And then I went back out with the older kids and my aunt and uncle and cousin Kevin and his wife. We had a great time.. I almost got thrown off the boat just because Kevin was being mean :-P

 The three musketeers and me <3

Kevin and me :)

So I take Grandma home after the boat trip and I stayed with her for a little bit and talked. Then I went back out to the lakehouse at like 8ish and sat around the fire with s'mores and talking with my cousins and they were talking about how Great Grandma and Grandpa Mart never had filters. Because one time my Great Grandma said to Kevin: Boy you are getting fat! and then said to my cousin Ryan: You are too skinny and scrawny and have chicken legs... So I said "Oh that reminds me I went and saw them today!" and Zach (Kevin and Ryans cousin on their moms side) said "They are still ALIVE?!" and we gave him this look like "Seriously?" and just all started laughing really hard.. Milk came out of Kevins nose cause he was laughing so hard.... 

 Okay, So I was trying to do bunny ears to them but my arms weren't long enough to reach above their shoulders to their heads (Story of my life). they are both like 6'2" basically ridiculously tall.

THIS IS WHY WE CAN'T HAVE NICE THINGS REGINA! :-P Thanks Ryan I love you too :-P

So Sunday I took one of my closest and very best friends with me to see my cousin (whos not really my cousin but he might as well be) perform at a carnival in redneck country... there was a car show that was really cool and we watched Zach perform and he was INCREDIBLE and basically my whole family was there. I kept poking him because he was just standing there I was like "you having fun?" and hes like "Yeah!" 

Then we left about a half hour after Zach was off stage because I was hungry so we stopped for dinner and then we headed home. I won't go into detail of what was said between us because theres only a few people who know and I want to keep it that way so, just gonna say this...Things need to progress soon between us.

Monday: it seemed like everyone in my family was in a really crappy mood monday.. We played apples to apples and just everyone was in a really sour mood me included.... 

Anyways so saturday I realized something... I am smack dab in the middle of my family... You have the older people like my aunt and uncle and Grandma, you have your middle aged Including my mom dad cousins and their wives, then you have me... I'm 22 and in the middle of my family because after me we have the teenagers. and then the babies.. And I'm perfectly okay with that. I'm not married, I don't even have a boyfriend, No kids. I can do anything I want! 

Anyways, until next time dearies

XOXO, 

Regina 

May 25, 2013

HEY ALL! I've got to be quick today because I have places to go and people to see  I created my summer playlists today .

Summer Country 2013:

All Night Long  (feat. Jimmy Buffett)        Lionel Richie                     

Always Gonna Be You    Kenny Chesney

Amen    Edens Edge       

American Honey              Lady Antebellum                            

Angel Eyes          Love and Theft

Anything But Mine          Kenny Chesney              

Are You Gonna Kiss Me Or Not  Thompson Square         

As She's Walking Away                  Zac Brown Band Ft. Alan Jackson             

DONE    The Band Perry

Bait a Hook         Justin Moore   

Banjo    Rascal Flatts       

Barefoot Blue Jean Night              Jake Owen        

Beer Money       Kip Moore

Begin Again        Taylor Swift      

Better Dig Two  The Band Perry

Boys 'Round Here feat. Pistol Annies & Friends Blake Shelton

Blown Away       Carrie Underwood         

 Beat This Summer          Brad Paisley                                                                      

Can’t Stand The Rain      Lady Antebellum                            

God Blessed The Broken Road   Rascal Flatts and Carrie Underwood                       

Come Monday  Jimmy Buffett 

Come Wake Me Up        Rascal Flatts      

Country Girl Shake It For Me       Luke Bryan                                                        

Cruise   Florida Georgia Line      

5-1-5-0  Dierks Bentley

Downtown         Lady Antebellum            

Eighteen Inches                                Lauren Alaina

Fastest Girl In Town        Miranda Lambert           

Feel Like A Rock Star       Tim McGraw and Kenny Chesney           

Fish        Craig Campbell

Fly Over States                  Jason Aldean   

-Get Your Shine On         Florida Georgia Line

Girl at Home                       Taylor Swift      

God Gave Me You           Blake Shelton  

Golden                 Lady Antebellum            

Good Luck With That      Zach Paxson     

Good Morning Beautiful               Keith Urban      

Gunpowder And Lead                   Miranda Lambert           

Highway Don't Care (feat. Taylor Swift & Keith Urban)                    Tim McGraw    

Honeybee           Blake Shelton  

How Forever Feels          Kenny Chesney              

I Had One One Time       Josh Turner      

I Knew You Were Trouble            Taylor Swift      

I Want Crazy       Hunter Hayes  

I Won't Let Go   Rascal Flatts                                                      

If He's Anything Like Me                               Brad Paisley      

It's America        Rodney Atkins                                 

It Felt Good on My Lips                 Tim McGraw                                    

Why You Wanna               Jana Kramer

No Shirt, No Shoes, No Problems             Kenny Chesney                              

Knee Deep (featuring Jimmy Buffett)     Zac Brown Band              

The Last Time  (Feat. Gary Lightbody Of Snow Patrol)      Taylor Swift      

Live A Little         Kenny Chesney                              

Little Moments                 Brad Paisley      

Long Teenage Goodbye                                Lady Antebellum            

Lookin' For A Good Time               Lady Antebellum            

Lovin' You Is Fun               Easton Corbin  

Margaritaville    Jimmy Buffett 

Merry Go Round              Kacey Musgraves           

My Wish              Rascal Flatts      

Never Wanted Nothing More    Kenny Chesney              

No Hurry              Zac Brown Band              

Nothin Like The First Time            Lady Antebellum            

Ohio      Zach Paxson     

Old Alabama (feat. Alabama)      Brad Paisley      

One Of Those Nights      Tim McGraw    

Our Kind Of Love              Lady Antebellum                            

Ours      Taylor Swift      

Pirate Flag           Kenny Chesney              

Put You in a Song             Keith Urban      

Red        Taylor Swift      

Remind me         Brad Paisley feat Carrie underwood      

Say You, Say Me (feat. Jason Aldean)     Lionel Richie

Smile     Uncle Kracker                                   

Somebody's Heartbreak                               Hunter Hayes  

Something ‘Bout a Woman          Lady Antebellum            

Somewhere Love Remains                          Lady Antebellum            

The Sound Of A Million Dreams                 David Nail          

Southern Comfort Zone                                Brad Paisley      

Springsteen                        Eric Church        

Stand                    Rascal Flatts      

Starlight                               Taylor Swift      

Stay Stay Stay                    Taylor Swift      

Storm Warning                  Hunter Hayes  

 Stay                                      Sugarland                                          

Sweet Thing                       Keith Urban      

This                        Darius Rucker  

1 2 3 like a bird I sing                       Tim Mcgraw                                                     

Courtesy Of The Red, White, and Blue                   Toby Keith                                                        

How Do You Like Me Now            Toby Keith                                                        

Toes      Zac Brown Band                                                               

Wagon Wheel   Darius Rucker  

Wanted                                Hunter Hayes  

Wanted You More           Lady Antebellum            

We Owned the Night     Lady Antebellum            

What Was I Thinkin'        Dierks Bentley 

Whatever It Is   Zac Brown Band              

When The Sun Goes Down (Duet With Uncle Kracker)    Kenny Chesney                              

When You Got a Good Thing       Lady Antebellum            

Where Im From                                Jason Michael Carrol                     

Why Wait            Rascal Flatts      

You And Tequila (Feat. Grace Porter)      Kenny Chesney              

You Are (feat. Blake Shelton)     Lionel Richie     

You Don't Know Her Like I Do     Brantley Gilbert

Young   Kenny Chesney                                              

Jump Right In                     Zac Brown Band                                              

Dirt Road Anthem            Jason Aldean   

El Cerrito Place                  Kenny Chesney

Generation Away            Lady Antebellum                            

Keep Me In Mind             Zac Brown Band              

(Kissed You) Good Night                               Gloriana             

Perfect Day        Lady Antebellum            

Truck Yeah          Tim McGraw    

Two Black Cadillacs          Carrie Underwood        

Without You       Zach Paxson     

The Wind             Zac Brown Band              

I love country music and I love creating playlists for summer. <Anyways sorry for the short post but I have to get ready to leave today because my cousin and his family are in from Las Vegas and I'm going out to the lake house to see them :) and then tomorrow I am spending time with one of my closest friends and we are going to a memorial day festival. Have a great memorial day weekend dearies :)

xoxo, 

Regina :)

May 21, 2013

WOW, I really haven't posted anything in wayyyy too long. So maybe I should update you, the last time I posted was April 6, 2013.. And let me tell you, a lot has changed. For one I am not with Joel anymore... that was the biggest change. Alright I'll start it.

April was a pretty tough month for me, not only was it my first month home but I had that lump, had to deal with boy drama... 
But first the lump, went through a month of testing including like five ultrasounds, a biopsy, a month of waiting and torture, and a couple of different doctors and I FINALLY got the news last week... IT WAS A BENIGN TUMOR called fiberedanoma but its in my surgeons gray area for removal because its 2.4cm and her removal limit is between 2.5-2.7cm but after 2.7cm she wants it out... but for the moment we are just keeping our eye on it. 
For those of you who have never had a biopsy done... they numb you with a needle.. and then all you feel is pressure.. but its AWESOME cause the biopsy needle looks like a harpoon gun! :D 
Two days after my biopsy I had my friend Khloe's baby shower for little Aidan <3 had to have my brother bring in her baby shower gift because I didn't want to tear my incision. I had only my gauze on my incision and it looked weird, the baby shower was so nice <3 I can't wait to meet little Aidan <3 

The proud momma to be and me <3

the cake <3 they spelled his name wrong :-P

<3

That sunday I took off my gauze and my boob looked square.. so i started crying.. and my mom was like "Regina it's normal... it will go back to being round in a day..."  So my family now calls me "Squareboob"... yeah... even made up a song for it... My family is so wonderful >.>

(Sorry for the Jumpiness, I mentioned that I found out my results and I pretty much told you all about last weekend... My bad)

April was a pretty tough month there's no doubt in my mind that it was one of the worst months, not only did Joel and I break up but I had to deal with two deaths. But I'll start with happy stuff :) My 22nd birthday, for my birthday my momma bought me an hour massage oh my god it was so relaxing :) and then we came home  and got ready for my birthday dinner with my two best friends Lucy and Jessica. We went to the Chocolate Bar in Cleveland where they play "Willy Wonka and the Chocolate factory" on repeat all the time and everything has chocolate in it. My first drink was a cherry vodka shooter that came in a little chocolate shot glass (Yes it was edible). Then I had a Chocolate covered pretzel martini and then for dessert I had SMORES! Yes actual smores with fire and everything :) 

Chocolate covered pretzel martini <3

my best friends <3

MY SMORES! :D

Then a couple of days later Joel's uncle died, who I got really close with, I was there for him and his family. His aunt Paula actually hugged me! Calling hours were brutal... but the funeral was even worse. I never saw his cousin Eric cry (didn't think he was capable of that emotion) and then we got to the cemetery turned out it was the same cemetery that my great grandparents were buried (in a wall)  so we went into the mausoleum and I found them, and while I was looking up Joel joined me along with his uncle lucky and said "Them yours?" and I laughed for the first time in two days.

That Saturday was Jessica's birthday <3 for her birthday we had to dress up because we went to a "High Tea" it was awesome! They cut their sandwiches into different shapes, and we went with Mrs. T, Jessica's sister Kaitlin and Lucy <3 we had such a good time. :) 

The day after was Sunday and I found out that an old friend had died (right just my luck when it came to funerals last month :-P) I wasn't as devastated as a couple of people I knew...

Alright TUESDAY April 24... Started out like any other, but I couldn't get him (not Joel) out of my head so I texted him asking him to meet me at chipotle cause I had something for him.... well we ended up not going to chipotle and we went to Panera instead... The thing I had was a love note, because I couldn't get him out of my head and no matter what I did I couldn't stay away and the note basically said that... Anyways, we decide to go sit in my car and talk for a little while, and when I gave him the note he looked me in the eyes and said "if this is what I think it is , I love you too" TOTALLY NOT THE REACTION I THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO GET!.. anyways about an hour later he has to go because his girlfriend was at his house... yeah thats a problem...

Next day, I found out where and when the funeral and calling hours were at for our friend called him and told him and he asked if I would go with him... so naturally i said yes... the next day was the calling hours and he looked so handsome in his dads leather jacket... just saying I have a thing for boys in leather jackets... and we went to the funeral and I saw a couple of people who I haven't seen since high school... and he went up to the casket and me (being terrified of dead bodies because I've seen way too many horror movies) I just stood on the sidelines waiting to give him a hug and shoulder to cry on.. then we left and decided to go to swensons for dinner...

The next morning was the funeral but we didn't go because he had to be at work later that morning so out of the blue my dad wakes me up and says "Were you expecting someone?" and I was like "No dad its 830am... I'm not expecting anyone until 1015?" and when i walked downstairs in my PJs mind you.. there he is standing there he said "I can't go to the funeral because I have to be at work... Wanna do something?" So we ended up going on a walk with Krypto.

Next day he called me at 7am (darn lucky I was already up.) and asked if Vito (my little brother) and I wanted to volunteer with him, I said yeah just let me go home and change and we will be there in about an hour. Anyways volunteering was fun we served hot dogs and different snacks raising money for 4H, I just remember one of his closest friends looking at me and saying "That boy is stupid" and I was like "Well we know this but why now?" and he said "Because obviously he likes you and you like him... but hes not dating you..." and all I could say was "I know..."
Later that day we went out to his family's farm and he bought a 1974 Porsche 911.. really hot car, real fixer-upper. Then we went to his cousins house to go swimming.. and then that night my parents were gone for the weekend and Vito had his buddy Jaxon over so I said "Why don't you come over and stay the night.?" mind you other then when Joel lived with us... I never asked a guy to spend the night... NO WORLD NOTHING HAPPENED. We just cuddled and traded Pj's, and fell asleep in each others arms.. 

The next morning I was pretty much up at the crack of dawn and decided I was gonna be nice and go get the boys some donuts, well lone and behold I woke him up so we both decided to go and get donuts. :) Came back had breakfast and then they all decided they wanted to wrap me up in duct tape... ugh it was hell trying to get out of it....

Couple of days later I decided to get my hair cut and colored :) and my hair stylist wouldn't let me see it until she was all done :-P but I fell in absolute love with it :) I love my hair stylist... I truly do.. I didn't think after my original hairstylist retired that I would find someone that I liked as much as I did her.. But I adore Gracie (my current stylist) and she knows what I want and what will look good :) and I love her for that <3

Well after that whole thing I'll tell you about yesterday :) Yesterday I went to lunch with my best friend Jessica :) and then we went on a hike with Lucy in the gorge and while there we decided to sit on a dock and stick our feet in the water... Nothing on earth beats a nice lunch, hike and then sitting on the dock with your feet in the water with your best friends not even having to say a word but just knowing that everything is going to be perfect and will work out one way or another. So I end this extremely long blog post basically telling you all about my life the past month with this. 

It was in this moment sitting with my best friends on a dock in the middle of the Cuyahoga river not saying a word, that I felt infinite, and I realized a couple of things. 1. You choose you attitude, people can influence it but ultimately you choose to be happy or be miserable.. I choose to be happy :) 2. That I truely have the best friends in the world and I would do anything for them. 3. Life is too short to be anything but happy <3 4. Everything will work out in the end.. If it hasn't worked out yet... then it isn't the end. <3 and 5. I need a pedicure ;)

Until next time, XOXO

Regina.